What Maine Does

  The beaming woman above, about to enjoy her first sip of a perfectly prepared cosmo, is, of course, Nan, aka TLOTH, The Lady of Two Harbors. At this point you might well ask, "Why is she smiling so broadly?" The correct answer is listed below. See if you can spot it:      1.The Red Sox are above .500.      2. Joel just said something witty.      3.There is a sale at Tommy Bahama.      4.Nan just sold her Miracle Ear franchise.      5.It's 2 for 1 cosmo night at Bijoux in Destin. While it was quite easy to eliminate #2, the other choices were more challenging. It is certainly true that the Red Sox are above .500 and playing much better than expected; however, that fact would never elicit such an expression of joy from Nan. The following would be the expected expression for such news: As you can see Red Sox success, as unexpected as it is, would be greeted by TLOTH with sleepy indifference. Choice #2 is so u...

  I have become a crank. A curmudgeon. An annoyed human. I say "have become" because I don't believe I have always been this irritated. As a matter of fact, I believe that for most of my life, in most circumstances, I manifested a more jovial, good-natured outlook. Not these days, people. Do you see the little hair that's jutting out of the top of my nose in the above cranky photograph? That is just one of the many annoyances contributing to my general crankiness.  No worries, you say? Cut or shave it off, you say? Gee, why didn't I think of that? People, I go after that little wiry scamp every few days but every time I think I have eliminated the sneaky follicle, he pops back up like Michael Myers in Halloween.  I tell you it's enough to make a jovial fellow cranky. Trump has singlehandedly raised my crank-o-meter since 2015. Like many of you, I've had to endure about eight years of crank-inducing behavior from the world's most dangerous buffoon.Will ...